i'm so stupid

i'm getting dumber and dumber by the day. sigh

I'm so stupid. I seem to need a lot of time to realise how I truly feel about something. At a certain moment when something is introduced like a suggestion or sthg, I may say okay. agree straightaway... when in truth, I'm not exactly sure I'm okay with it. I only think I'm okay with it. And then later, always at least a few hours later, I realise that No, I'm not okay with it, I don't like it, I've got objections. Which is so much worse because I create trouble, for myself and for others. because I feel like as if I've lied to the person. There are two ways out. either I live with it, and go on 'suffering', doing what I do not want to do, accepting what I don't agree with. Or, I tell the person how I REALLY feel, which is also bad because it's like getting the person's hopes up, and then throwing it away. worse still, the person might have already spent money and effort starting on something... Ugh. And it has happened so many times. It's as if, subconciously, I WANT to be an easy-going person. to seem like I'm a trouble-free person, okay with anything, so i dont waste time. darn it. no one else seem to have this problem. no one says ok and then later goes, "oh wait, ACTUALLY I..." I want to avoid being a fussy person, but instead of avoiding troubles, I create them. and waste more time. filled with regret. making things worse than ever.

Yes it's as if my mental capabilities are deteriorating fast. I wonder if i'm suffering from some kind of disease. maybe Prolonged Un-spontaneity Syndrome (PUS). I'm too lazy. (no, there;s no such disease, or so I think)