QTs in the mornings are great. clears the mind. refreshes the soul. provides direction for the day. like, a 24 hr (or more) booster pill. Plus, it's a great way to say, Good morning, God! Thank You for yet another day living.
Yet, the more hopeful it seems, the greater the fear. Because I've known too well what it means to be given something great and good, and then have it taken away the very next moment. Literally the next moment.
Then again, this time, I know it deep in my bones, my soul, that this time, I really have seen God. There's no doubt about it. And it's been SO long since I've been so sure. SO long. SO long, since I lost my way. So, No. I cannot, must not, lose sight again. Just can't.
I just hope that when bad times come, I can still look up and say, thank you God. There will be bad times; this won't be easy at all. But I don't want to be shallow and superficial. I want to be rooted, and strong, and dependent on God. So scared.. but hopeful. Hopeful.
"It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn from your decrees." Psalm 119:71
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