Breathe in. And out.

Sometimes, you just want to stay silent, and hope your cursed life will just pass you by. Ah, that was really emo, so to speak. Cursed life. But there's at least 50% truth; sometimes, you just want to stay silent. After all, what could speaking do? It will merely sap away the already depleting amount of energy you have. You just want to breathe in and breathe out, that's all. That'll be enough already, for trying to live a life.

Where's God in this?
It's a whole big chunk of paradoxes. The more you try, the more it hurts. Yet, the more it hurts, the higher the motivation to throw off the burdens and just worship. But then.. the more it hurts.

I appear to be strong enough sometimes, strong enough to encourage, when I myself am discouraged. Those times, I can roughly see what's the right thing to do, the right way to go. But those other times, I wished I could shut my ears from the complains. Those other times, I find myself having to practise lots of mental control, just to prevent myself from crossing the edge. Even I don't know what's over the edge. Now, I only want to breath in.. and out. I don't want anything else.

I'm building a wall, and I hope, God, that you're on my side.