and again.

Sometimes it's okay. Sometimes it's good, even. But sometimes, it's bad too. Confusing, really.

I wish, very hard, to be good. To be rid of impurity. At least, to have a heart that desires to be clean and pure.

This is not the first time it has passed through my mind. The wonder that God even bothers to bother about us. What is man that You are mindful of him? Or more specifically, what am I that You are mindful of me? Lord, I really wish I could reciprocate Your undying love.

"Teach me your way, O LORD, and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalms 86:11

Undivided.

Sigh. I'm back where I started. Perhaps I never moved. Perhaps my heart's stone cold.