It's so hard. so so so so so very hard. How to go on.. how to persevere.
how.. when you know that there's at least ONE person who's going against you on purpose. and you have no choice but to bear those 'beatings' because it's all part of the job. how.. when I've already failed. Even if I avoided doing the 'un-glorifying' towards others, it has already been done. And the way I see it, there's no way out, unless, of course, that person ceases to exist. How.. when things keep seeming to get better, only to suffer bad news right after that. Always, when I bring up enough courage to tell myself that things ARE okay, in a matter of minutes, things are NOT. If I kept believing that things are screwed up, you tell me not to worry. If I didnt do that, and actually believed things are fine, they get screwed up.

Once again, it's sadness after anger. It's emotional abuse. one person's sufferings is the other person's joy, esp since the 'other person' is the provoker.
yet, perhaps, it was my fault from the start. again, cause and effect.

For once, I wish there was someone I could borrow a shoulder from. But no. There's only.. the desk. There is no solace in this place.. I have a roommate, for goodness' sake...

where are U?