like, whaaat?

Perhaps one of the best proofs of God's love, is that people - well, some.. a few.. - actually want to hang out with me. Of course, this is after cancelling off those who invite me because they feel sorry for me. I know it, and I appreciate the effort to make me feel belonged, but it's okay, really. It's going to be awkward and not to mention, mentally exhausting; having to create conversation. Ugh.
I never believed I was good company anyway, even when I sometimes wanted to believe so. So believe me, it's going to be really tiring, if not tiring for me. Worrying every second that I'm making it an un-enjoyable outing.
Okay, I know I know, I'm probably putting myself down too much. But it's true! I've gone enough experiences to know it. (Well, okay you should always try to make others feel belonged, but do it like you mean it, not because you feel you have to.) In any case, I know I'm at a place where I know how to deal with this; it's no longer that important to me, because I've got Him, who provides all the love we need.

So anyhow, I know there are a few, who genuinely want to meet with me. Even so, with the true sincerity, I still can't understand why. And I think this human-ness of mine, can never comprehend why. But I believe it's God, who has provided for me, provided these lovely friends. And because it's God, it's hard to understand it, to accept it, for He's really too great, His love overwhelming. Still, I give thanks.

Just to know that God alone cherishes me more than anyone else does, is already something too good. But to have other people do so, is like God's extra bonuses to me. =)