well, it's like this - it's..erm. hmm.

Try to describe it. Type a chunk of words, read through, hmm, nah.. delete it. Try again, type-read-delete. In the end, I give up trying. The only way to do so then, an understatement though, is 'messed up'.

And a certain mellow tune that I've just taken to, is not helping very much. It's making me wallow in it all, feeling oh-so-sorry for myself.

Other than 'messed up', it's just plain frustrating. It makes me want to scream and go ugghhhhhhh when I think about it. Yeah, so that might give an inkling about what's going on. ...NOT.

Just frustrating.
At this moment, it would be just perfect, if you provide me with a nice high place (that's not too dangerous for falling off though), nice breeze, nice sunset perhaps, nice view for miles and miles (or kilometres and kilometres, in our terms) and that mellow tune in the air. Falling leaves perhaps (that somehow do not fly into your face and get stuck in your hair and clothes). THAT would be an apt atmosphere, eh? drama-mama.