Letting go.

I remember one HRM lecture (yeah I was paying attention) where the guy said that a leader's job is to work out of his job. That is to say, as a leader, you lead people to become leaders themselves, so that you 'lose' your own job as a leader because they can now take over.

I'll say, for all the challenges that a leader face, this last thing on the list is perhaps not really as easy as it seems. I call it, letting go.

At first glance, who doesn't want to be free of responsibilities? By all means, take over so I can take a break. Ah, but in every man, there's this thing called pride. And some of us may even feel insecure in handling responsibilites over, not having enough faith in our successors.

At the end of the day, 'our time' is indeed over. After all, there's nothing much that can be done except worry. Someone once said: Worrying is like sitting on a rocking chair; you're doing something, but you don't get anywhere.

I think God knew my anxieties. After I finally made the decision, He honoured it by reassuring me. He showed me that I'm not forsaking people by leaving, because well, they are not being forsaken. They can, as they already are, handle it on their own. And so I could make peace with myself. And even with the fact that I'm not so good anymore, because it doesn't matter anymore.

But what a small victory. There were at least two points in the recent weeks that I thought my life might change. But it didn't, really. Still the same old lazy a**. Darn. Be proactive about it, woman.. but then again, I've never been really proactive about anything. Hah.