Harvesting bananas from an orange tree

Doing registration has never been more crazy. Crazy – meaning I’d rather do camp registration for 200 pax than do this one ever again. Crazy – so much so that I’m blogging about it.

So, they tell you all these restrictions – no more than 8 pax per table; guests should never be outnumbered; guests are seated with their friends… But then there’s all these OTHER things like, age, life stages, young ICs, new ICs, ICs who’ve fallen ill, ICs who brought friends too, members who invited many friends, members who may not be helpful at the table, non-regular members left out, members whining about no table, members not wanting to be at tables, guests outnumbered by members, members outnumbered by guests, 1:1 ratio met but members are still ‘out-powered’ by guests (whuuutt!), only one guy, only one girl, troublemakers, registered guests not showing up at the last minute, unregistered guests showing up at the last minute, one leader tells me one thing, another leader tells me another thing... I wish I was exaggerating, but I faced ALL of these issues EVERY week. Faced with impossible expectations which could never be met. Like being told to harvest bananas from an orange tree. So I’m left to feel disappointed with myself every week, like Oh I’m so sorry I couldn’t harvest any bananas this week, I’ll do better next time. 

My point is, I think I have sufficient reason to almost reach the breaking point in the midst of all that madness. To give myself more credit at the end, I was under the influence of drowsy medication, losing my voice, and therefore way more prone to losing my mind. In a drama-mama fashion, I had to excuse myself and pray hard to God to let His peace take over.

Sure, I should have gotten help. But I suspect it might not have made much difference. Perhaps more damage – to the poor soul helping me, I might have butchered him/her in the process, and then end up more guilty and disappointed than ever. Oh well. 

I’m thankful for people who listened to my rants every week, for people who helped, for people who reminded me that more guests means more people hear the gospel preached. I remember the good times, but I do wish I was more prayerful and joyful about it. So the question remains, is this something that I should continue to be involved in and work on more sincere and joyful service, or should I find somewhere else I would be of better use and flee from the temptation of resentful service? 

(Sigh. Here I am, proof-reading what I just typed, and then second-guessing myself and thinking I'm just making a big fuss out of it, eh? Even so, humour me. Cheers.)