right in the middle.

okay, not really, it's abit skewed off to one side.

So there's the church musical tonight in serangoon. and there's also a jnrs practice tonight in sch/ntu/boonlay. church musical, tonight's the most important, in my opinion, because we wrote it for this night, we wrote for the heartlanders. i dont really care much for the others in town. and tonight's the very first performance. i want to be there to watch it done on stage. i want to be there with the cast, to help make the costumes look right, to help calm nerves, to help refocus everyone that we want to bring the real Christmas story to our neighbours. but as it is, I can't. that's life, huh.
I need to be in school. there's a meeting. and the jnrs practice, where JY and I have to teach the choreo which only both of us were involved. he won't die doing it alone, but it'll be best if i was there to help the girls. and plus, he tends to have his own version of certain techniques, of certain moves. jnrs tend to be confused by him. SO what can i do!
On one hand, I WANT to be at this place. On the other hand, I NEED to be at the other place. I already said it's skewed to one side. I feel like it's better if I go to where i need to be, and do what i need to do. better, not because I'll feel better, it's not better for me. it's better because i'll be meeting the expectations of OTHERS.
it's not like i think i'll be much help to the musical people, but at least i'm there. so i wont be. and i'll be out of my house in a few minutes, making the 'arduous' journey to the west. perhaps i'll redeem some joy from dancing.
okayokay i'm making a big deal out of things, but this is what i wanted, and needed, but i couldn't have it. this is what i faced, am facing, and will face until the last day of being P of KLH.